Today I am going to share some more of my writing. It is about 2 years old but seemed appropriate with Mothers Day coming up.
FiresMy son, Sam, the brand new 18 year old, is now officially a volunteer firefighter. He was voted into membership before Christmas but was not allowed to respond to fires until he had turned 18 on January 10. His first official fire was just the other night… Two doors down from us…
We were sitting at the dinner table just finishing up when the tones sounded and the pager announced a fire. While the details of the call were broadcast and Sam jumped up and started for his car.
"Sam!” His dad said, “That’s just a few doors down!" Sam was a tad excited. But his gear was in the back of his car so he opened the trunk and started getting dressed. I was standing there trying to figure out what exactly I should do. For crying out loud he is a trained firefighter! He doesn't need his mommy helping him get dressed! So I stood there but could not resist the urge to say "Do you have everything?" Oh and when he went on his way I couldn't help but pick up his shoes and gear bag from the middle of the street where he left it. It's what moms do, you know?
I stood watching for a time, still unsure if I should stay out side and watch or if I should go inside and wait. I wanted to support my son but really what could I do? It's not like he was playing soccer or something. Can't you hear me?
"Climb that ladder, Sam! Hold that hose!”
“Put out that fire!"
"Sam, Sam he's our man! If he can't fight it no one can!"
Somehow I don't think it would be appreciated. I can hear Sam saying "Mom! No one else's mother came to the fire!"
My husband’s excuse was that the fire was too close for comfort which was sort of true. Yes it was two doors north of us but the affected house was on fire on the north side of the attic and there is a very large house between us and the burning house. Quite frankly I had to go inside before I had a nervous breakdown.
I am immensely proud of Sam. He has dreamed of being a firefighter since he knew what one was and what they did. This does not mean that I can watch him do it.
Mothers are like that. We want our children to go after their dreams and , to quote a recruitment campaign, be all they can be. But it is not easy for us to stand by and watch. We want to help, protect and do for our children. Especially when things are hard for them.Especially when those things are caused by their own mistakes. We know that for our children to learn sometimes they have to go through hard things. The best that we can do is be there for them when they ask for our help.
Thinking about this always makes me think about how much pain we cause God as we go through hard things. I think His pain must be even greater because He knows we are going to mess up long before we do. And yet, like any good parent, He is there waiting for us to ask for help.