Sunday, December 8, 2013

How to be a grandma.

If you will indulge me,Friday morning after Thanksgiving my Grandma Richards passed away. I wrote the following in her memory.

Throughout Grandma's last days Aunt Becky and Aunt Juanita have been keeping us updated through a private facebook group message. On Monday, November 25th the "girl cousins" started a conversations about our memories.
I confessed my inability to visit Grandma at the hospital. My brain could not reconcile the lady who told me about something she had done this summer finishing with, "I don't think Bobby and Juanita and Becky were too happy about it but I am almost 92 years old and I will do whatever I dang well please!"to the barely conscious woman that had been described to me.
Beth said it best when she wrote " I do not want to remember this part of her. I have so many wonderful memories with her and that is what I want to remember." And we began sharing.
Many of our memories were of food and the kitchen. Oatmeal raisin cookies, tang, colby cheese and coke, that amazing vanilla ice cream she always had, beef and noodles, yeast rolls, peach milkshakes, fresh from the vine grape jelly, chipped beef on toast, toast with butter, grape jelly and bacon sandwiches.
As girls we all got to stand on the stool and "help" with dinner.
We always knew that when we heard the farm report on the radio we'd better get up or we'd miss breakfast. Lunch was served precisely at noon and Grandma would be listening to the "Bob Braun" show while she prepared it.
Once when she was needed in the field she entrusted me with taking the homemade pizza out of the oven for lunch. I got lost in a book and it was um... cajun. Troy still declared it edible, at least he ate enough of it!
One of my favorite things in Grandma's kitchen was the bucket of water on the counter, drawn fresh from the well each morning, with the metal ladle. The best tasting water ANYWHERE. Anyone who knows me knows that water is not my favorite. I am a diet coke girl all the way. But if I could have a bucket of that water and that ladle I would drink a bucket a day.
The well was an important mainstay in visiting Grandma. When we were playing outside in the summer, it's where we cooled off.
We loved playing in the hayloft of the barn, especially hide and seek. Our rule was that whoever was it went downstairs to count. One day I was it. Dale, Troy, Belinda, Beth and Katie were upstairs hiding, Katie needed to go to the bathroom. Belinda helped her find the "perfect spot" to go and I ran screaming to Grandma begging to take a bath. Grandma made it clear that baths were taken at night, with Ivory soap and Prell shampoo. I was allowed to rinse off at the pump.
Grandma wasn't exactly the "cuddly" grandma of the movies but we new of her deep love for us by the things she did for us.
We knew that even if her arms were full of vegetables from her enormous garden she would set them on the ground to push us on the swing until our feet touched the leaves or to spin us on the tire swing until we were dizzy.
Once when my son Troy was dying, my dad and Grandma came to Ft. Campbell to visit. Before she left, every dish was washed, every item of clothing washed, dried and folded and all the floors swept and scrubbed.
Grandma could convince Grandpa to do things like bringing a trough into the yard for us to fill with water and play in, put the racks from his truck in the yard with a tarp over it for a playhouse. She also kept him from lighting our rear ends up when we made a skylight out of the little tear we found in the tarp.
She not only tolerated our sliding down the stairs on our butts, she encouraged it.
She took us swimming in ponds and swam with us. In the winter when we went sledding she went with us.
Once I spent the night with Grandma on a school night for some reason. It snowed overnight and school was cancelled. Grandma had to agreed to strip tobacco at the Alford's and took me with her. It wasn't far and the roads were bad so we walked. At the top of the hill just out from the driveway, Grandma slipped and slid on her butt all the way down and halfway up the next. She got up, looked at me, still standing at the top of the hill, and said "Ok, your turn." as if she had planned it all along.
She gave us pie tins to make mud pies. She made ornaments with our names on them and had them hanging in the front window every Christmas.
She woke us up singing "Good Morning, Good Morning to you!" She played hymns on the piano buy ear.
One of the things I am most grateful for is that grandma took us to church with her. I don't know if we enjoyed church or the ride to church more. We loved when Grandma ramped the hills. As an adult I have tried to ramp those same hills and I am just not brave enough! Pretty sure that's where Katie got her driving skills!
We were blessed to have Grandma. We are thankful to have these and many more memories to share with  our children and grandchildren. We are Thankful to have her as our example on "How to be a Grandma."

Monday, November 25, 2013

The Good, The Bad and The ENERGYBITS

I just looked over my stats and saw that I have not blogged since Aug.19. Yikes! I had no idea it had been so long! I intended this post to be primarily a review of EnergyBits. In fact, this review was promised, well, weeks ago.
But as often happens, Life and sometimes death gets in the way.
In the last 4 months my family and I have been through many changes and the changes continue, but more on that later. As the title suggests they have been good, bad and just plain ugly. I am happy to report that EnergyBits have helped me survive.
The first big event was our son Josh moving out. It was a good move for him as he was able to get out of a dead end fast food job and rural area where he didn't know many people to an area in which he has friends and family members. We are happy for him but we miss him. He is not the best of communicators. :-)
Next was a dangerous electrical issue that our landlord refused to fix properly. That sent us on a search for new housing.
September 21, our oldest daughter got married. September 27 we started moving into our new home. September 29 my car broke down as we were going to get another load from the old house. I had to drive my daughters car, a 99 Mustang, which I hated, for a couple of weeks. Then it broke down and I had to ride with my boss. It got fixed and I had to drive it again. My car was repaired on October 18th. My stepfather was taken to the hospital on October 19th. After testing and finally heart surgery, my stepfather succumbed to his illness On October 24th. My great aunt died exactly 9 minutes after my step father.
The day after my step fathers funeral the power steering went out of my car as I turned into my office parking lot. A week later my paternal grandmothers health started failing and my uncle had heart surgery. Due to work obligations I couldn't be there for my fathers side of the family. Even now as we wait for the inevitable loss of my grandmother I am still catching up at work. It is all EXHAUSTING.
Where do EnergyBits fit into all this? I may have mentioned that I have Rheumatoid Arthritis. RA is aggravated by stress. Besides painful inflammation RA also causes crushing exhaustion. I don't think anyone would argue that stress causes exhaustion.
I had planned to test Energybits on a longer run but as my training schedule was all thrown off it seemed that plan was doomed.
From experience I knew that my stepfathers surgery day would be long and energy robbing. Perfect day to test!
The instructions say to either swallow the tablets or chew the tablets. I admit I am not brave enough to chew them..yet. I swallowed the 30, yes 30, tablets recommended with a large glass of water. The first thing I noticed was my lack of nervous appetite. Normally when faced with long waits without much to do I nibble, constantly. I didn't have that problem. When things didn't go well I was able to focus and support my mother. Throughout the next few days as we made funeral arrangements and  went through the funeral and meal afterward I continued to take the bits every morning. I had enough energy to do everything that needed to be done.
My one complaint is the number of tablets you take. It just seems like a lot.
I will, however, be purchasing more EnergyBits soon!

Monday, August 19, 2013

Technical Difficulties

AKA-due to circumstances beyond our control we will be without Internet for a time. While twitter and Facebook are easy enough on my phone, blogging more than a few sentences is a nightmare.
I will post short updates as often as I can but the longer blog posts will have to wait.
In the meantime- KEEP MOVING!!!!

Sunday, August 4, 2013

I really gotta lay off the sauce!

No, no, no! Not That kind of sauce! Even in my "mildly wild" days I was never a big drinker. my husband says I am too much of a control freak. Maybe yes, maybe no.
 Back to the topic,the sauce I am referring to here is all the stuff I like to put on my food. As I have been working on improving my nutrition I have realized that sauces are my downfall.
I came to this realization as I was reading one of those "Simple shopping tips to help you lose weight" type of articles. It seems to me that all of those articles always have the "shop the perimeter of the store, because the processed foods are in the middle" tip. I have done this for years because processed food is expensive when you are cooking for a family of 7. My husband and I also love to cook so cooking from scratch really isn't a problem for us. So why am I so overweight if I follow this rule?
Because Dairy and Bread are on the perimeter of the store as well. I love dairy. Cottage cheese, Sour cream, cheeses of every shape and firmness. It sets the heart aflutter, does it not?
 I love fresh raw veggies but they are so much more appealing dipped in a fresh dip of sour cream and spices. Who doesn't love a loaded baked potato? Except my daughter.
Then there are the condiments all loaded up with sugar and sodium and fat. I can feel my arteries clogging just thinking about the mayo that was on my chicken sandwich last week.
We are down to just my husband and youngest daughter in the house. I admit it was tempting to fill up the freezer with "convenience" foods to go along with our busy schedules but we all agreed that we wanted to be healthier. As my husband and I were grocery shopping I realized that we, as a general rule, eat healthy foods but our choices to smother them with sauces and condiments cause a lot of our issues. I put the sour cream back. and the cream cheese. sigh.
So how do we fix the sauce problem? Here are a few tips that are working for us-
1. Season your food so that you do not need to add to it. Get creative with spices. Use fresh lemon,lime or orange juice to give things a little kick. You can mix it in while cooking or squeeze it over just before serving. Fresh garlic and onion and herbs just cannot be beat for a big pop of flavor! If you can't use these, make sure to use spices without salt i.e. garlic POWDER, Onion POWDER etc. Avoid seasoning salt. We all need a sodium in our diets but too much is just not good.
2. Don't overcook your food. Overcooked meat of any type is dry as dust. Overcooked veggies are mushy, colorless and tasteless. When a meal like that is put before you it BEGS for sauce of some sort. You don't have to attend culinary school to be able to cook simple meals. You just have to pay attention. Which brings me to
3. Don't try to multitask while preparing food. It will not end well and you will be melting cheese and pouring on the sauce to cover your mistakes in hopes that you meant to make it "extra crispy"!
4. Don't use too high of heat when cooking your food. You end up with burnt outside, raw inside and again reach for the sauce to make it edible.
5. Get creative with sandwiches. I can't stand a dry sandwich. Replace the mayo, ketchup-whatever- with avocado or hummus or smashed black beans seasoned to fit your taste. Goodbye boring lunches!

Any other suggestions?

Sunday, July 28, 2013

Running the Gauntlet

I thought of this phrase as I was bemoaning my painful and swollen knee that sometimes occurs when my Rheumatoid Arthritis is flaring. I am a person who likes to research and know about things. One if the things I have learned that movement is good for RA. Too much sitting around makes for even more stiffness and pain. I can run through achy joints and mild pain but not a knee that is twice its normal size and so painful that the 3 day back labor I had was sounding like a walk in the park. This is one of the many reasons I started running again. To lose weight to help the joints and get the joints moving.
I was just plain aggravated that here I am, literally working my tail off to improve my health and I get hit with a flare. Besides the physical issues, I've had some stressful things going on in my life.
I felt as though I was being attacked on all sides and no matter what I did, I could not protect myself from the blows. I thought " This must be what it feels like to run the gauntlet." The researcher in me wanted to know the origin of the phrase. I found quite interesting stuff. Here's the short version. defines the phrase as follows-
gaunt·let2   [gawnt-lit, gahnt-]
noun Also, gantlet (for defs 1, 2, 4).
a former punishment, chiefly military, in which the offender was made to run between two rows of men who struck at him with switches or weapons as he passed.
the two rows of men administering this punishment.
an attack from two or all sides.
trying conditions; an ordeal.

While I don't feel I am being punished and I don't actually see two rows of men waiting to pummel me, I do feel I am being tested. I believe God tests us to show us how strong we really are. A lot of my fellow Fatty Must Run Marathon Challenge girls are going through tough things. Many, it seems, are being hit on all sides as I have been.
I also believe that God has a tremendous sense of humor. Why else would my Pastor be preaching on David and Goliath right now? Why would we be learning all about "the fight before the fight the fight" that was going on before the showdown between the giant and the little man. This story is particularly fitting for us marathon girls if you think about it. David was not physically right for the challenge he was to face. Most would say we aren't fit for this challenge.In fact, someone has actually told me I will not be able to do this.
 Part of the reason David was able to succeed was because he had not been listening to this giant hurling insults for the 39 days. His heart and mind were not full of the fear that kept the Israelites trembling in their tents. They had let Goliath live for free in the space between their ears. David had spent those 39 days singing and praising and fully focused. When David heard Goliath insulting God and his people David, in so many words said "Ya want some of this? Come and get it." When questioned by Saul about his ability to slay Goliath David told Saul "I have have been watching my fathers sheep and when a lion came and snatched one of the lambs I struck it and killed it. When a bear came and snatched one of the lambs I struck it and killed it." We need to be like David in that we need to be confident in our abilities and we need to keep the "giants" in the form of naysayers, insulting people etc. out of our heads.
 Of course the gauntlets we are experiencing are not usually physical blows to our bodies. Our gauntlets or giants if you prefer come in the form of those thoughtless things people say or the bad habits we struggle to break or the problems we all face from financial to loss of a loved one to actual physical pain/injuries.
One of the interesting things I learned about running the gauntlet is that if the culprit was to make it to the end of the line upright his faults were forgiven and he could return to duty with a clean slate.
I imagined myself running the gauntlet, my body flinching with each blow and yet I remained upright. I refuse to quit. I don't expect that this will be an easy journey. Things will go wrong. Idiots will yell stupid things as they drive by me. People will doubt me. And that is okay.
Although, if it comes down to it I will CRAWL across the finish line if I have to!

Friday, July 19, 2013

Move it so you can lose it! Even if the neighbors think you are crazy!

Many of us are experiencing extreme, oppressive and downright dangerous heat these days. As motivated as I am to meet my goals, they are not worth heatstroke or an asthma attack. So I have come up with creative and fun (well mostly fun) ways to burn calories and stay cool beyond going to the gym.
Some of them may be out your comfort zone. You may be concerned that the neighbors may be watching. Let 'em watch! In fact, invite them over to join the fun! 
I know that not everyone has access to a pool, pond, beach or lake but if you do,visit as often as possible! According to the physical therapist in charge of my aqua therapy after my last knee surgery, one hour of water exercise equals two hours of land exercise due to the resistance. Run, jump, swirl. Heck! You could even swim! 
If you don't have access to any of these facilities try a few of these.
 1. Fill several buckets or tubs with cold water, add ice if desired, set them strategically around the yard. Get several packages of cheap sponges and soak them in the tubs. Have a water sponge fight. Separate the colors and play in teams. The possibilities are endless!
2. Get out the sprinkler and run through it!
3.Break out the slip and slide! Don't have one? Buy a plastic drop cloth,secure at each end, aim a hose and a little dish soap and off you go.
4. Gather up 1 can of shaving cream per person. roll out a tarp or plastic drop cloth preferably on a soft surface. Have towels and a hose ready for wipe off. Set up the rules ahead of time, no shaving cream in the face, it stings when it gets in your eyes. Kids and adults alike love playing this. If you have a sturdy table try some table diving! Have a strong "catcher" at the end of the table to prevent injuries.
5. We call this one porch ball. Mom and Dad-or two other people-Sit or stand on the porch, deck, etc. with buckets of water and squishy pool toys or sponges. Then throw them in the general direction of the other players who attempt to beat the others to the toys and throw them back. It gets quite competitive.
6. Try dodge ball with the sponges. 
7. Speaking of dodge ball- In the comfort of of your home, revisit your high school gym days and do some old school exercises. Jumping Jacks, sit ups, butterfly stretches, toe touches or whatever exercise was a favorite torture of your gym teacher! 

Whatever you do, don't stop moving!!!!  

Sunday, July 14, 2013

"Don't worry about the scale, just keep running."

Those were the words my doctor said to me on Friday. He has been my doctor for 18 years and he has never ever told me not to worry about the scale. 
In fact, he usually says quite the opposite. Things like " With your family history of heart disease, diabetes, arthritis, Alzheimer's, high blood pressure, cancer, lung disease,  so on and so forth, you need to lose weight. " and I would agree with him and tell him all the things I was "trying". But the results showed that my attempts were not lasting changes in my lifestyle.
Things have changed. For both of us. Here's a quick rundown of the changes for me.
1. I spent the last week of my grandfather's life on a pull out couch in his hospice room every night. Or sitting beside him holding his hand.
2. My father, who had been diagnosed with Alzheimer's a few years ago, began to fail rapidly.
3. High school friends suffered heart attacks. 
4. A friend younger than me had a stroke.
5. My three beautiful grandbabies were born. I want to be around to play with them for years to come. I want to dance at their weddings.
It finally sunk through my thick skull that I am not invincible. I don't fear death, my eternity is settled. But I would prefer to go peacefully in my sleep. Or maybe performing some miraculous rescue or something like that. Something cooler than ways I have injured myself (flushing a toilet is one of more memorable injuries) 
The main thing that has changed for my doctor is that he has witnessed my resolve. We happen to go to the same gym and he has seen me on the weight machines and plodding around the track. He knows how hard I am working. He knows the advice he gives now is getting more than lip service. 
Friday was a victory.

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

ABC's of me

Attached or Single? .  Attached to my love since Nov.2, 1996 

B. Best Friend? Jill, we met when my husband was her teaching assistant, we always told her that she'd get married when she found a guy like my hubby. She did!

C. Cake or pie? White or yellow cake with white buttercream icing

D. Day of choice? Friday, I am off and get a little time to myself!

E. Essential Item? I think I am addicted to my kindle fire

F. Favorite color? Purple! It's the color of royalty and I am the perky positive princess!

G. Gummy bears or worms? Lived around the corner from the Gummy bear factory in Nuremburg so I am going bears.

H. Home town? Moorefield/Switzerland county, Indiana

I. Favorite Indulgence? Long bath with a good book

J. January or July? January-when its cold you can put on more clothes and be warm.  when its hot you can be naked and still be hot. Yuck!

K. Kids? Furry kids: I know this seems like an easy question but not so much. Together we have 6 children I gave birth to 3, Troy, who died at age 3 from multiple birth defects, Sam, 22, & Carrie Beth,17. I have been blessed with 3 children from another mother, Josh, who is 26, Carrie Lynn,24, & Ashley,20. Then I have 3 grandchildren, Austin, born 2-25-2010, Connor, born 2-18-2011, & Alyssa,born 2-12-12. Cool, huh? 2 fur babies, Mazey,12 year old boxer/shepherd mix, Roxie,4 year old foxhound mix.

L. Life isn’t complete without? Love and peace

M. Marriage date? 3-7-1997

N. Number of brothers/sisters? 2

O. Oranges or Apples?  Apples-pink lady or gala

P. Phobias?  Does an aversion to open cabinet doors count?  

Q. Quotes? If you find a road without obstacles, it probably doesn't lead anywhere. Frank A. Clark
R. Reasons to smile? Life, glorious life!

S. Season of choice?  CHRISTMAS!:-) ok, i know thats not the question but there is something I love about each season!

T. Tag 5 People  oh gosh, this means I have to think! 

U. Unknown fact about me? 
Ummmm, I like to watch people and I am a hugger but I hate large crowds with people squished around me.
V. Vegetable? Cucumber

W. Worst habit? Trying to be superwoman

X. Xray or Ultrasound?  Ultrasound

Y. Your favorite food?  Seafood and watermelon

Z. Zodiac sign? Gemini

Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Don't get lazy.

There is something to be said for having a lazy day every now and then. Its good to rest,relax, and recharge. Vacations are awesome, even long ones.
What is not good is to blow off your workout while you are recharging and going back to square one.
Gather round children, Granny's got a story to tell you.
Once upon a time there was an old lady who decided she was going to run a marathon. She started training and things were going along swimmingly.
She had a 4 day weekend coming up and she was excited! She had big plans! The day before her big weekend she came home from work to get everything ready for her weekend and skipped her run/workout. Then mother nature smashed her plans to smithereens.
She was a sad old lady. She skipped her run/workout. For 4 days. Alternate plans were made which were fun yet exhausting. She went to bed at 6:45 after work on Monday.
Tuesday she popped out of bed at 4:30 am, jumped in her clothes and hit the gym.
Her body was in shock. Her legs screamed, her legs burned,her lungs were on fire and her feet forgot what they were supposed to be doing. But she refused to give in and kept going. It was like starting all over again. She was exceedingy happy that she finished before her doctor, who goes to the same gym, came in. 
Before she left the gym parking lot she made sure her alarm was set for the next morning because she never ever wants to start all over again! 
I hope you have learned a lesson from this poor woman's tale. Even if its only a short brisk walk, exercise everyday! You wont regret it.

Friday, July 5, 2013

An ephiany of sorts..

I was sitting at a redlight while doing errands in town yesterday when I noticed a woman standing in front of a store with an oxygen tank on the ground next to her. Her hands were busy above her head then she leaned over and I realized she was laying her nasal cannula on top of the tank. She then reached in her purse and pulled out a cigarette and lit it up. 
I thought to myself " How can she continue to do something that is clearly harmful to her health? She could die too soon from self inflicted sickness!" I took a bite of my sausage McMuffin and continued my rant as the light turned green and I went on my way.
Then the hypocrisy of my thoughts smacked me full in the face. I have certainly known for years that good nutrition and a reasonable weight are important for good health. At least my head did. I tried to rationalize the difference in the way I have been killing myself and the way this woman chose to kill herself. The conversation went a little like this-
"Her smoking is nothing like my eating and exercise! Her smoking is affecting her immeadiate quality of life , clearly clearlyshe has trouble breathing !"
" And eating so much that you can't sleep because of acid reflux isn't affecting your quality of life? Or the way you huff and puff going up a flight of stairs? Or the things you cant do with the grandkids the way you want because you can't fit in the swing or on the slide"
I argeud" Just a little wont hurt." The problem is that a little turns into a lot. One more bite turns into a whole serving.
I argue that I can't afford healthy food.  Lies, all of it. A local produce shop have 4 for 5 deals. A recent deal was a1lb of strawberries, 5lbs of red potatoes,carrots and a pineapple. I know that if I get this deal plus a few other items, my family will have filling frsh veggies. I say "I just don't have time." Again lies. I do have time. I could cut up veggies while I watch tv. 
As I said, all these thing I knew in my head. I didn't fully grasp that these truths were for me as much as anyone else. It is my job to embrace these truths,let go of the lies and move foward in my journey of wellness.

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

A few ways running has changed this fat girl

There are the obvious things like better fitting clothes, better stamina,extra energy, etc. 
But there are some changes I was not expecting. I didn't expect to have quite as much energy directly after a run. I expected to kinda be dead and ready to sit for a while. Turns out, I am ready to take on the world when I get done with a run. I have ADHD so I am ALWAYS going. I shudder to think how large I would be if I didn't have ADHD. But it turns out, I can be even more energetic! One day when I came home after a run and started doing stuff around the house my husband said "I didn't think it was possible for you to have more energy!" Cool!
Another-I have had pain in my left hip when I lay on that side for literally years. A few weeks after I started running again I noticed that pain was gone! Unfortunately, I have been a slacker for the last couple of days and the pain is back. Back to work.
I love the time running gives me to process and reflect on life in general. I find that I can work out problems while plodding along. 
But one of the coolest things to me is the response and encouragement I am getting from the people around me. I did have one negative reaction from my former cross country coach. He has seen me at my laziest. Not my super motivated-ness! 
Some friends and family were concerned for my health and rightfully so, I admit. I am notoriously clumsy. I have had 3 knee surgeries due to injuries. I wish I could say that at least one of these injuries was due to some heroic act. Alas, the first was from getting my daughter out of her car seat. The second was from trying to make my bed while recovering from first surgery and falling over a pillow and destroying the repair. The third, flushing a toilet. Talent, pure talent.
But mostly I have been encouraged and supported and cheered on. From the very buff lady who works at the gym to my coworkers to friends. 
One of my coworkers was forced to quit running this past October for health reasons. She checks in with me at least once a week. She told me this morning that she is living vicariously through me. She told me where to find a running shop that will check my stride and my feet and help me find the perfect shoe for me. She has given me advice on everything from chafing to training. She has also told me that she is going to be on my back throughout this process. She and my other coworkers have said they will be at the finish line of my marathon. That makes me happy. and motivates me even more than failing on a global scale.

Sunday, June 30, 2013

Fat Girl Running problems 2

I am going to start with my excuse for not writing this post on Friday. We have had my 2 year old grandson since Friday morning. Isn't he adorable?

I think so! But boy does he keep me busy! He loves his Pop-Pop and Aunt Bubble and Uncle Josh but Boo-Boo is his favorite playmate, furniture and jungle gym! One of his favorite things to do is sit on my feet while I am sitting in a chair while I do leg lifts. Thanks for the "quads of steel" Connor! 
So on to Fat girl running problems!
I am going to back up a little and revisit shirts a bit.
Shirts are basically the bane of my existence. This was as true now as when I was 115 pounds because as I mentioned last time I am genetically blessed. 
This causes most shirts to be too short. As you might have guessed, I am not exactly a "belly shirt" model. In my experience, plus size shirts only get wider as the size goes up, not longer. So I end up buying mens t-shirts in colors as feminine as possible. Which makes me roughly the shape of a refrigerator box, only much shorter. 
FYI- If you make yourself a shirt like I did, don't use puffy paint. It sticks to the weight machines and peels off.
Onto other Fat girl running problems.
Lets talk chafing. I know that this is not exclusively a fat girl running problem(see previous post, I have been a skinny girl runner) but I have discovered new and exciting chafing spots as a fat girl runner. For instance, I had no idea the the top of my "vertical smile" chafes. Whoda thunk it? When this happens you have a very funky stride! 
Next we have the "gear" issue. Such as the smartphone holder designed to go on your bicep. I bought an xxl. It does not fit. I am fortunate that though my biceps are large, I do not have "wings"! I am working hard to ensure I never do!
I have never before considered that my weight would be an issue in finding properly fitting running shoes. I have 2pairs of running shoes neither are "perfect" but one pair is especially uncomfortable. I found this out by accident when I wore them to the Gym one night. I made it about 1/4 of a mile in the shoes, then stripped them and did another 3/4 mile in my stocking feet. It was the most comfortable run I'd had since I started running again.
So decided to check out the barefoot style with a spot for each little toe. Between my fat feet and my Rhuematoid arthritis my toes don't fit in the little spots of the size that fit the rest of  my foot. One more motivator! I want those shoes!!!
Those are all the fat girl running problems I can think of with a two year old climbing me like a tree. 
Anyone have anything they'd like to add?

Thursday, June 27, 2013

Fat girl running problems part 1

In the interest of full disclosure, I was not always a fat girl runner. Once upon a time(27 years ago) I was on my high school cross country team. While I was not at my thinnest, I was in good shape. 
Since I began running again I have become aware of problems that I didn't have as a thinner runner. I have compiled a few for your reading pleasure.
Clothes- I could probably do a very long post on problems with clothes. Let's start with shorts. In general, plus size runners can't wear cute little shorts. If you are lucky enough to find shorts that claim to be your size they probably aren't really your size or are your size but are cut just a little bit odd. Second, fat girls have thighs that rub together which means that with every step your shorts climb your thighs until you appear to be wearing a diaper. Not attractive. I have read about running skirts. I'd love to try one. If I could find one in my size. 
Then there are sports bras. This has always been an issue for me because I have been genetically blessed in. If there were sports bras 27 years ago I certainly didn't know about them. 
Now I'm trying to find them in a 42 G. Yeah thats fun.
Shirts are fun too. In fact shirts bother me so much I made my own. It says " Yes, I'm fat AND I'm running. Encourage me, run with me or get out of the way!"
More tomorrow.

Sunday, June 23, 2013

The Last Crusade

I was sitting here here watching a movie trying to figure out what I was going to write about tonight. I have not gone on my run yet so I don't have any entertaining stories about my ineptness as a runner/athlete. Today I visited my dad and it was exhausting.
The movie I am watching is Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade. Have you seen it? Indiana is on a final adventure with his father. My favorite of the series. I thought how much I would love to go on a final adventure with my dad.
Actually, I guess you could say we are on an adventure, but defintely not a fun or exciting one. 
You see, my dad has Alzheimer's. Alzheimer's is a mean and humiliating disease. Dad was diagnosed a few years ago but the disease has progressed rapidly since October. 
There are only glimpses left of the man who built a truck from the ground up with parts he scavenged from wherever. Or the man who walked for miles in a blizzard carrying bread,milk and eggs in burlap sacks to neighbors on his way home to us. Or the man who spent hours making a dollhouse for my sister and I and a barn for my brother for Christmas one year. Or the man who built a cradle for my babies.
And yet, in watching him, I am motivated. Alzheimer's can be exacerbated by factors such as alcohol use and obesity. In his day, Dad was an alcoholic. He didn't recognize it at the time but did in later years. He was also overweight for many years.
So I am motivated to take better care of myself and make changes that will reduce the chances of my having Alzheimer's. It is probably the hardest thing I have ever done but it is worth it if I can spare my children and grandchildren the pain that I am going through. 
Off for my run. I will try to be more entertaining tomorrow.

Saturday, June 22, 2013

Fat girls should never sit in bunjee cord chairs

I have had a couple of exceedingly busy and stressful couple of weeks both personally and professionally. I was desperate to "escape" for a day and as it is my husbands weekend off we were ready to go!
Our original plan was to get up early and go fishing. I picked up my fishing license last night. Gregg bought bait. We planned our picnic, froze water bottles, bought an umbrella for my chair- everything was ready. 
However when the alarm went off at 6 this morning Gregg said "Do you want to sleep a little later?" To which I replied YES!
We finally got moving around 8 it was already muggy. Humidity and I do not get along. My hair and humidity get along even worse. Seriously, so not pretty.
On to plan B! Our company had a Kentucky Derby hat contest and bake off. While I didn't win the hat contest I did win the bake off for our office. I was the only one who baked anything. Winning is winning! The prize was a gift card to Olive Garden. So plan B was a visit to the new Cabelas in Louisville, lunch at Olive Garden, a visit to Mall St. Matthews and finishing off at Bass Pro. 
Cabelas was ok. Not as impressive as expected but ok. Lunch was good. 
Mall St. Matthews. Here is where it gets fun.
 The main reason we went to this particular mall was because our youngest daughter wanted to go to Forever 21. Have you been there. While it may be my 17 year olds dream it is far from her 47 year old daddys. In fact it is his worst nightmare. But because she wanted to go, he went in and even helped her shop.  She, giggling and squealing with excitement. He, grunting and groaning and making faces like he had caught a whiff of sewage back up. Fun for me to watch!
After that delightful episode we continued through the mall looking at various stores and just enjoying each others company. Several times we walked past "Sharper Image". They have all kinds of nifty gadgets. What caught my eye was this nifty Bungee cord chair. It was a large circle with what looked like a spider web of Bungee cords. The first couple of times we passed the store a girl was sitting in the chair.  Finally the third time we passed she had gotten out of the chair!
My time to get a closer look at the chair had finally come! I made a beeline to the chair even as the salesman was adjusting the purple squishy head rest. I got close, touched it and firmly announced to my husband and daughter " I have got to sit in it!" My husband said " No kidding? I knew that was coming."  My daughter rolled her eyes in that charming way teenagers have when their parents are at their dorkiest.
I turned and plopped into the chair and basically hit the floor, bounced and dangled. My bum was basically on the floor, my body folded in half with only my head, my arms from elbows to hands and legs from knees to feet sticking out. I couldn't touch the floor with my feet nor could I reach anything to grab to pull myself out. I was like a turtle on his back. If hubby and daughter hadn't been there I think I might still be sitting there with a sign saying "Don't let this happen to you." I cackled like a mad woman,just couldn't stop, it was absolutely hysterical! My daughter and husband were trying to maintain their composure but failing miserably. The salesman who had adjusted the headrest? Walking away like he hadn't seen or heard a thing.
Honestly, I wish hubby had gotten it on video so I could share it with you!  Wonder if the store would share the security tapes...
So exercise today, walking round and round stores, attempting to pull myself out of the chair. 

Friday, June 21, 2013

getting past the fat girl running fear

I try really really hard to make fun of myself before others have a chance and act like I am ok with it. I make jokes about my fat rolls and fat thighs and runing like a pig in molasses mixed with quick sand. 
However, I continue to run when I know there will be fewer people to see me whether at the gym or around town. I wear shirts several sizes too big in a vain attempt to hide my 48 inch waist and 58 inch hips. That somehow my no one will notice all 258 pounds of fat bouncing with each step. Of course if I have learned anything from "What not to Wear" its that oversized clothes only make you look bigger. I guess you could call my oversized gear a security blanket. My safe place.
I have to work on this. If I continue to limit myself to running when people can't see me, I will will never achieve my goals. People attend races therefore I need to be able to run in front of people. 
Here's the thing, I don't think I am the only one who is uncomfortable. I can only imagine what people are thinking as my hufing puffing creaky red faced body goes by. Perhaps they are thinking about cheering me on but are afraid I will mistake their encouragement as patronizing. Maybe they are frantically trying to remember the CPR class they took in case I collapse in front of them. 
At any rate, I believe I have come upon a solution. I have a gigantic hot pink t-shirt that has become my running shirt. I have decided to modify it so that it might make everyone a little more comfortable. For me I will make it smaller and better fitting. For everyone else, on the front I will write "Yes, I am fat and I am running. Encourage me, run with me or get out of the way."
On the back . What say you?

Monday, June 17, 2013

Dear Juneathon and Fattymustrun marathon challenge

I am sorry. I have been a horrible participant this month. Well as far as blogging is concerned anyway.
My exercise over the last week has included several days spending at least 1.5 hours playing with a kid on a playground, 3 walks through town of about 3 miles each, and today10 hours at Handi-camp, in heat, sitting down only to eat and of course drivr there and back.
I will do better. I promise! But now, I am going to bed.

Thursday, June 13, 2013

I need more hours....

There just isn't enough time to do everything I want and NEED to do!
Run, for example. I actually love to run. I am as slow as an elephant in mud but I love it!
I have an awesome job! I work with kids with mental health issues and their families. Its not always an easy job. In fact, at times it is both challenging and heartbreaking. 
But one of the best things about it is that I get to play with kids everyday! It may not be running, but I am usually active everyday. Yesterday it was 2 1/2 hours playing in high heat and humidty. Completely wore me out. I was in bed by 7pm!
Today was just a bit of active play as we had storms popping up.
 One of the more annoying aspects of my job is trying to mesh my and my families schedule around my clients schedule. At times it is impossible! But usually to make it work I end up working crazy hours.
I had planned to work out at the gym but forgot to pack my workout wear this morning. I went from work, to physical therapy to my daughters doctors appt, to the gym to take daughters shift at the gym child care because her appointment ran late. If I had been wearing pants I would have gone ahead and at least done machines but I was in a skirt. Hard to do some of those and remain modest!
By the time I returned home it was 8:30ish, and I wouldnt have had time to change, drive back to the gym and gotten a work out in before they closed. Sometimes I wish my gym was 24 hours! I opted to catch up my squats as I was behind a couple of days and do some stretching. Plus upper body at physical therapy. My therapist had me work on machines that are in the gym so when official therapy ends I will be able to improve. There are some I am not allowed to do. One in particular she said I was never ever allowed to do ever again. Not sure if she was teasing or not! 
So thats my portion of the post. don't feel left out! 
My clean eating has been a bust for the last couple of days. Trying to squeeze every last drop out of productivity out of my days has resulted in me grabbing whatever is the quickest, easiest and cheapest. In the words of Scarlett O'Hara "Tomorrow is another day."

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

The Fat Girl wants it the most.

This morning I had physical therapy and was going to see a client straighr from there. This required me to take a different route than usual. This particular route is hilly and curvy and  beautiful. I was anticipating the lovely drive when I came upon a group of cyclists. I am certain that I would rather run this stretch of road than ride it. The hills would be wicked.
The first group were were aware that the were not the only vehicles on the road. The next group was waiting for the stragglers-in the middle of the freaking road ON A CURVE! I thought it was going to be very unpretty! I got around them and encountered several other groups along the way. Most of them looked like your typical cyclist, thin, chisled, decked out in all of the high tech gear that money can buy. There were a.few older people in the mix but they too were thin and  chisled.
Some of the groups were courteous about sharing the road with other vehicles. Other groups completely disregarded the safety of themselves and others by riding 4 abreast ,some were on the wrong side of the road or riding the yellow line. Considering the blind curves, and the tendency of people in this area to cut curves this was asking to be run over. All in all I'd say there were 100 or so.
I was getting very frustrated with all of these groups and was absolutely fuming as I went up the last big hill. And then I saw her. The fat girl waiting at the top of the hill for her friends. She didn't have the fancy jerseys that the rest of the group, I am guessing because makers of cyclist gear don't know fat girls ride, much like running apparel makers don't realize that fat girls run. But she was at the top of the waiting for the others. She wanted it more. She had more to prove. I wanted to stop and tell her that she is a rockstar!  She inspired and encouraged me me without saying a word.
I have been discouraged by the slow process of seeing improvement in my own athleticism. I want to run faster and better and I dont want to jiggle! & I want it now. This beautiful woman reminded me that this is, after all, not a sprint, its a marathon. I am not going to start running today and run 26 miles tomorrow. I am not going to run tonight and wake up with 120 pounds magically gone from my body. This woman in the polka dot shirt shirt probably could not have climbed that hill when she first started riding. But here she was, at the top of the hill, waiting for the skinny people.
She wanted it more.

Saturday, June 8, 2013

Juneathon day 6 &7 , clean eating 6 & 7, Fatty must run marathon challenge

Most days I don't really feel my age. Probably because I don't act it most of the time! ;-) However, when we have my grandson for the weekend I defintely feel every minute of my age! Though not as much as I used too!
Last night for instance. Connor fell asleep on my chest. I am still restricted in how much I can lift and I can tell you that little man is way more than 10 pounds! Three months ago if Connor had fallen asleep on me, we both would have slept on the couch until a) someone came to help me b) he woke up. In the meantime I would pray that his diaper and my bladder made it through the night.
Last night was different. I was able to get off the very low couch without using my bad shoulder and without waking Connor. Thank you Fatty Must Run Marathon challenge/30 day squat challenge!
Another change I am excited about- When I drop something on the floor I no longer have to do the "fat girl lunge"! Who knows what I am talking about here? I am positive some of you have either done it or seen someone do it! Let me describe it for you and I am sure you will recall it. Step 1. Fat girl drops something on floor. Step 2. fat girl places one leg in front of her in classic lunge form, preferably holding onto something, and ever so slowly squats toward the object while grunting, groaning, huffing and puffing. Step 3. Retrieve object, but rest while you are down there,cause that was hard work. Step 4. Slowly slide feet together while clinging for dear life to anything that may help pull yourself to an upright position. Step 5. Look around to see how many witnesses to your gracefulness. Now you recognize this right? I am happy to report that you be seeing me doing this ever again! I can pick up anything you can throw on the floor like a normal person! Woohoo!

So Juneathon. I have not had a run since Thursday. I have been chasing my 2 year old grandson since Friday afternoon. Friday we went to the playground and believe me this granny was running! Today, we went for a 3.5 mile walk. It is beginning to be our regular routine when he spends the night. Get up, eat breakfast, Connor clamours to get in his stroller, walk to the farmers market, throw pennies in the fountain, walk down to the playground by the river, walk down the boat ramp to feed the ducks. Pretty fabulous morning if you ask me!
 Fatty must run marathon challenge June clean eating challenge - not horrible yesterday, not the best, but not the best. We went to the chinese buffet where I mostly eat sushi, crab rangoons and pot stickers. Last night was no exception! Today was good until supper when I was too worn out to cook and we had pizza for supper.

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Juneathon/clean eating day 4 and 5 and a "reblog"

First things Day 4- Exercise- half of my squats, forgot the second half. oops. Did some stretching and strength that is physical therapist approved. 
Day 5- "power walked" 3.16 miles in 1:09:19 I was proud of that! squats from yesterday, todays squats. yay. Someone might need to carry me up the stairs at the office tomorrow.
Days 4 and 5 of clean eating- I felt I did well despite an upset stomach. lots of whole grain toast. beans and rice for lunch. turkey burgers and baked fries for lunch.
Now for the reblog and the story to go with it. Today I was accused of being privileged because I made a joke about running through the grocery store shouting "unclean,unclean" on twitter.  As anyone who knows me in person can tell you, I am far from privileged. And one of my biggest pet peeves is for someone to judge me without knowing me or make blanket assumptions. I had a religion professor in college who was very good at blanket assumptions. Especially concerning "you young college students who haven't lived in the real world."  His favorite expression was "You have to throw out all your preconceived notions."  One day he made a scathing remark, followed by his expression and I had enough and told him so. He started to argue with me and I told him in no uncertain terms that I was a 35 year old woman with a husband, 5 kids, a job and a 2 hour round trip each day. I was not a late teen/early 20's kid there because my parents said so. I was there to learn. If I was required to drop my preconceived notions about college professors, he had to drop his about students. He was speechless for a moment, then agreed that I was right.His attitude towards students changed as he listened to them. He became one of my favorite professors and biggest supporters. 
This reblog is in response to the accusation of my "priviledged lifetyle". My message is that you shouldn't judge someone quickly on the basis of a single statement. Yes there are people in the world who are completely depraved. But don't assume I am one of them. Learn before you judge. and honestly, its not your place to judge.
Two and a Half Pages of Excuses
If money were no object I would live in house that fit my family with closets and a kitchen big enough for a table. The floors would be even. No longer would the arrangement of the furniture depend on whether it would be too lopsided to be comfortable. We wouldn't worry about whether or not that chair is too heavy for that weak spot in the floor. The floors would be finished and polished with the proper cleansers and wax. There would be no particle board trap door to the cellar.
In the bedrooms we could use all 4 walls without worrying that the plaster will give way. The clothes would hang neatly in closets and belongings stored neatly on those shelves. The bats wouldn’t find holes to come in at night and bite the youngest daughter’s toes. If money were no object, there would be more children in my house. Children whose medical conditions are too much for their parents. Children whose parents never should have been parents. Children who just want to be loved and safe.
The ceiling would not have those water spots, I mean lines. We wouldn’t wake up after a rainstorm to find that the covering on the old chimney has come loose, leaking into the kitchen, depositing half of the wall onto the counter.
If money were no object, I would fix my children breakfast every morning before I drove them to school. Their lunches would be fresh and healthy. There would be fresh baked goods and fruit for after school snacks. The pantry would have rows and rows of jars of fruits and vegetables picked straight from our garden and orchards and canned at the peak of freshness. My husband would spend hours planning and tending all the fruits and vegetables he has ever wanted. I would eat those fruits and vegetables knowing that if my tooth crumbled in an apple I could go to the dentist to have it repaired.
Each morning I would gather eggs from our chickens and feed them and the cows and goats. I would take meat from the freezer for that evenings’ supper. I would not pick up dollar cheeseburgers on the way home from work because they are fast and cheap. I would not look for more and more ways to make a pound of hamburger and a box of macaroni feed 7 people.
If money were no object I would have a writing room all my own. My books would come out of boxes and fill two walls of shelves. Eventually I would need more shelves. There would be a comfortable chairs and a couch for long meaningful conversations and quiet hours of reading.
If money were no object, I would have an indoor pool to do the aquatic exercise my rheumatologist insists I must do to ease the pain in my joints and to lose the weight he insists I must also do.
If money were no object, my family and I would learn about different countries and cultures by experiencing them first hand. They would see the wonders of the world and the children who must beg to survive.
I wrote the previous pages after I saw a segment of the show “CMT Cribs”. I cannot remember which celebrities’ home was being shown, I think it was a race car driver. What stands out in my mind is the man’s wife as she listed the features of her beautiful state of the art kitchen. She then proudly announced “I don’t know what half of it does, I never cook.”
I was so angered by the statement that I wrote the piece and included it in my Senior Capstone Writing course proposal of short “life” pieces.
My professor said "This piece is spare and sincere and conveys the problems of living in poverty without self pity. I don't know if I could write this objectively. I don't recommend changing this one. I think it is perfect as it is and its compact form speaks loudly as is."
I was thrilled. My pride was all puffed up at my perfection. And then the rest of the semester rushed by and with it a million other projects and graduation. The piece was tucked away in a file and forgotten as I threw myself into preparing to teach a class of 5th and 6th graders.
One day when I probably should have been doing something productive I was scrolling through my computer reading things I had written over the years. Some made me laugh, some made me cry. This one made me think.
As I read I recognized that what I had written was two and a half pages of excuses. If I want to serve needy children there are far too many right here in the town I live in.
When this realization hit me I immediately thought of all the parables in which Jesus talks about being a good and faithful servant. Not once does He say “Serve me if you have money.” The message in so many passages, Matthew 20:1-16, Matthew 25:14-30, Luke 16:10-15, to name a few is clearly to do what you can with what you have.
What I struggle with most, I think, is doing what I am told. I want to do what I want, when I want. Just like a spoiled child, I stomp and cry and sometimes yell trying to convince God my way is best. How foolish is that? Just as I make decisions based on what is best for my children, God has my life planned perfectly.
My job is to do as I am told. Luke 17:7-10 says “Suppose one of you had a servant plowing or looking after the sheep. Would he say to the servant when he comes in from the field, “Come along now and sit down to eat’? Would he not rather say, “Prepare my supper, get yourself ready and wait on me while I eat and drink; after that you may eat and drink”? Would he thank the servant because he did what he was told to do? So you also, when you have done everything you were told to do, should say, “We are unworthy servants; we have only done our duty.”
May it ever be so. 

Monday, June 3, 2013

clean eating, Juneathon day 2 and 3

Day 2-Clean eating- well, I was running late in getting ready for church so I didnt eat breakfast.drank herbal tea with honey. About halfway through the service I started feeling really awful. Spent the rest of the morning in the foyer watching the monitor or in the bathroom. Drank tea and water all day. Ate whole grain toast.
Exercise-squats thats it.
Day 3- clean eating- Toast, cheese, for breakfast and lunch. Dinner-baked fish and squash which actually tasted really good and didn't upset my stomach!  Yehaw! But epic fail on my drink. I gave into the puny temptation to drink diet coke. Yes, I am weak when I feel bad.
Exercise-squats Exercise-squats and a short walk .
I made up some Lemon water so all I have to do is grab it in the morning.
Daughter and I are heading to the gym in the morning!
Check out - & these sites are my motivators!

Saturday, June 1, 2013

Juneathon-day 1/ FMRMC eating clean, day 1

Short blog tonight. The day started out well but kinda crashed and burned.
We had been invited to a party at a friends house. Mishap with planned dessert, basically, it and the glass pan it was in exploded. With me in front of it. Somehow I escaped injury but was pretty shaken up. And no dish to take with us. Enter chips. I hadnt been grocery shopping yet so I didnt really have anything I needed to make a veggie or fruit tray. Or time to make one. So we picked up chips on the way.
Exercise- not much. Squats and some stretches.
Tomorrow will be a better day!

Thursday, May 30, 2013

Running, Running , Running, get those doggies Running!

Dogs like to run, right? You also hear " Dogs need a fenced yard in the city so they can run!" Right? Well someone forgot to tell my dogs! I take that back, my dogs do run. They run through the house as if they are being chased by Satan himself. Mazey runs from her run to the back door every evening. Roxie runs halfway across town in a matter of minutes if she can push past whoever is standing at the front door.
So I thought it would be a great idea to take my dogs running. Excercise for all of us and company and motivation for me. here's how that played out.
Mazey is a sweet boxer/german shepherd mix who was dumped at my grandparents house the day before Easter about 12 years ago. When we first brought her home she was terrifie of my husband and sons. Now my husband is her favorite person. She never quite learned to walk on a leash, she prefers to drag whoever is on the other end of the leash. But, she is an old lady. I thought she would make an excellent "warm up" dog. I had forgotten that she is also very nosy! We would run a few steps and she would have to stop to investigate. So I brought her home and hooked up the "pace" dog.
Roxie is also a rescue dog, a fox hound mix, who gained her place in our family by faking being a calm well mannered dog for 2 days then showing herself for the lunatic she truly is. We saw her at an "adoptathon" at a local mall. We had been talking about getting another dog for awhile but had no immediate plans. Then my husband saw Roxie. The adoptathon was closing and dogs were being loaded to be taken out to trucks to the shelters they had come from. Roxie was lying calmly in her cage observing the chaos. My husband begged. We had not planned to spend any money that day. We were just getting out of the house. By the end of the day we had spent 150 on adoption fees, shots, crate, toys etc. She remained a perfect lady all the way home and for the next few days. On day 3, some one came to the door and off she ran. 5 minutes later we caught up to her a mile away. Surely she would make an excellent pace dog! Not so much! She is just as nosy as Mazey but 10 times more ADHD with a keener sense of smell. She would run a few steps then without warning change directions. More often than not she found it necessary to wrap the leash around my legs to get to whatever interested her. Then she saw another dog. She either wants to play with the other dog or she hates them for being alive. We are never sure which it will be. At this point I was exhausted from dog wrangling and fell in a heap onto my couch. 
I think I will attempt to run with my dogs again but on a route less traveled by others!
If you want to know more about my running challenge check out! Or follow me at twitter @tinamymy or julie @fattymustrun !

Monday, May 27, 2013

Did that last blog seem to end a little abruptly to you?

Well there's a reason for that! I literally fell asleep while writing it! I woke up with my Kindle Fire on my chest and hit publish without proofreading.

Let's talk about peer pressure, social media  and boys, shall we?
I have tried and failed to get back in shape many times. This time is different for many reasons.
This time I am not going on this journey alone. I am joined by my fellow fattymustrun marathon challenge girls, we communicate via blogs and twitter so this journey is on a GLOBAL scale. Did you catch that, GLOBAL! Who wants to be the fatty who didnt finish GLOBALLY? Not this chick! I love the encouragement I receive from these ladies and if for some reason I don't finish I am sure they will still be encouraging. But there is the potential for ridicule from others. I am working hard to give nothing worthy of ridicule. Some might say just doing this challenge is worthy of riducule.
They are entitiled to their opinions. I am responsible for my reaction. I can choose to let their opinions bring me down or I can choose to use their opinions as motivation to achieve my goals. I choose motivation. Peer pressure can be turned into something positive.
I can hear the question you have in your heads- But what in the world do boys have to do with anything?
I work with kids with mental health and behavioral issues. As a general rule, these types of issues are more prevelant in boys than girls. In spite of this I have had  usually evenly split caseload. While giving myself a pep talk during  a workout that my mannerism were rather...masculine. I found that rather curious until it occured to me that I only have one girl on my caseload. Hmmmm.
These kids are a big part of why I began this journey.I am a firm believer in kids learning by example so they know I am doing this and I think most of them think I have a snowballs chance of actually running a marathon. Walk, maybe, but no way I will run it. What I want them to learn from watching my journey is that it takes work to meet our goals. So often, they believe that if something isnt easy they can't do it. If I tried to run a non-stop marathon on my first day of training I would absolutely fail.
Just as they make progress a little at a time, I will make progress a little at a time. It will be hard and sometimes painful but everyday will be a little bit better than the day before. I hope that by watching me work toward my goal they will be able to apply  it to their own situations.
Along that same vein, in a lot of ways, I need to learn some of the same lessons I am trying to teach. It has been gently( well, mostly gently) pointed out to me that I tend to have 2 speeds-stop and Speedy Gonzalez. When I am in speedy mode I tend to expect everyone else to be in the same speed. When they aren't I am frustrated. I am either Over achiever or so Overwhelmed I don't know where to start. So you see, not only am I teaching I am also learning.

Saturday, May 25, 2013

social media, peer pressure and boys

I had fully intendedto follow up my pre-birthday post with a post birthday post. However, my grandmother had a stroke and with all the emotion of that, the post just didn't happen.
Despite my Grandma's stroke a lot of great things happened this week!
1. I have found that the more I exercise, the more I want to exercise. 
2. My response to stress has been altered. Typically, I stress, I eat. This week my stress reaction has been to get up and do something.
3. Though I haven't made a concentrated effort to avoid sweets/chips,I have found found that I am not craving those foods.
4. I have lost 4 lbs.
5. My doctor not only approved my participation in the Fatty must run marathon challenge, his exact words were " I love it!" And despite being 2 weeks without blood pressure meds(they didnt give it to me in the hospital and I couldnt afford the refill) my blood pressure was NORMAL!
6. I had kind of a rough workout Thursday. Hang with me this IS a positive! I have rheumatoid arthritis which seems to be mostly in my feet. This makes finding shoes,of any kind, very difficult. Running shoes are especially difficult. It seems that the more structured a shoe is, the more pain it causes. I have 3 pairs of running shoes and none of them are comfortable for more than a few minutes even if I am just walking. But because I absolutely positively do not want to be the fatty that didnt finish on a GLOBAL scale I decided to run anyway. 1/4 mile into the run I knew if I continued to run I would not be able to walk Friday. I resigned myself to working out on the weight machines and be satisfied with that. 
Except that I wasn't. Not in the least. With each set of reps I racked my brain trying to cime up with a plan. Finally I went to the employee in charge and asked if it would be ok if I ran the track without my shoes. The worst she could say was no, right?  So I ran 3/4 of a mile barefoot. 
7. I made an assumption about someone's opinion of me. I was very wrong and very humbled by their opinion.
8.I am rocking this, just so you know!

Monday, May 20, 2013

Pre Birthday musings

I suppose it is only natural to get nostalgic and reflective as one approaches milestone birthday and I am no exception. I think God created this habit of ours as a way to remind us of the blessings in our lives. 
It is tempting to whine about all the things I thought I would have achieved by now, the success I thought I would have enjoyed, the losses I have endured. 
The truth is that every experience I have had make me the person I am, for better or worse, and prepared me for this exact moment in time. For the journey.
My old cross country coach is now the principal at a school I work in. When I told him I was embarking on the Fatty must run marathon challenge he was less than encouraging. I see his point. He remembers the girl I was and doesn't really really know the woman I have become. In front of him he sees the outward appearance of a short, wide woman who ate to build a fortress around herself to keep people away. If they can't get through the walls, they can't hurt you.
He sees the girl who wimped out halfway through almost every race to walk. He does not see the woman who has endured complicated pregnancies, a month long bedrest,  an emergency c-section where she woke up to a doctor saying her 4lb 7ounce baby boy may not live through the night. He does not see the woman who went through three days labor to finally give birth to a 8lb 7oz boy with a giant head and bad hips. The trips to the mall with a double stroller carrying a kid in a cast from his chest to his ankles, another kid hooked up to a feeding machine, oxygen attached to a tracheostomy, a suction machine handy for the inevitable clogged tube.He doesn't see the woman who held her first son as he drew his last breath at age 3. He doesn't see the woman who went through 2 days of labor that ended in an emergency c-section and a post op infection a week later.
This woman is a warrior and a survivor.
This time next year  he will see her.

Sunday, May 19, 2013

Friday-sitting in the hospital Sunday- running in the gym

Yeah, I kinda rock! :-) True, I ran slowly, about half the pace of my personal best, but I ran! I am sure to the handful of teenage boys posing with the free weights it looked more like a bouncing walk. Its fine if they judge me, I was kinda judging them as well. Especially the kid who was so absorbed in looking at himself as he walked to the next station that he nearlyy ran smack into me DESPITE my attempted dodge and weave maneuver!
I admit that I am amazed at how good I feel! I have had knee issues for years and years and years but I have absolutely no knee pain whatsoever! Miracles happen!
I believe that the best part of this journey has been all the support from my fellow fattymustrun marathon challenge girls. Everyone cheers each other on, offers advice and are just some of the most amazing women on the planet!
So glad I get to be one of them!

Saturday, May 18, 2013

I didn't run off the face of the planet!

I did, however, spend a few days in the hospital. I have diverticulosis which when inflamed/infected is...unpleasant. I couldn't hold down water and the 30 minute drive to my office was pushing the time I could stay away from the bathroom. So Tuesday through Friday I spent hooked up to IVs of antibiotics and fluids. To make it even more fun, I have horrible veins and had 4 iv sites in my time there.
But I was determined not to fall behind. True, I couldn't go running through the halls dragging my IV pole around but I could do the squat challenge! I will admit that I was embarrassed at the thought of someone walking in and catch me squatting away with my bottom hanging out of my oh so fashionable hospital gown. With my luck they'd think I was having some sort of seizure and rush me to have a head CT!  I decided to save my squats for the bathroom. It was probably safer that way anyway! :-)
I was discharged from the hospital yesterday afternoon on heavy antibiotics and probiotics for a month. Then the probiotics go to a more normal level.
This morning when I finally pulled my butt out of bed-I was really enjoying more than 4 hours sleep in a row- I took each of my dogs for what was supposed to be a run. Mazey,my warm up dog, is a 12 year old german shepherd boxer mix who thinks she is a puppy. She started out on the same page running happily for a block. Then she had to stop every 2 feet to inspect every new scent. Ok, time to switch dogs! Roxie is a hound mix, we are pretty sure she has some fox hound in there. She tricked us into adopting her from an adoptathon 3 years ago by sitting quietly in her crate like a perfect little lady while the rest of the dogs jumped, barked, yelped and were generally insane.  She remained ladylike for about 3 days then she let her freak flag fly. I thought she would be the perfect running dog because she doesnt walk anywhere. I thought she would be streaking down the street with me in her wake. She doesnt like to be predictable. Roxie stopped at every spot Mazey had found interesting plus some so I ended up  dragging her down the street. Especially when we saw another dog.  I managed to make it .63 miles with those crazy dogs this morning. I have been running errands and cleaning most of the day but have also had my moments of rest. I will finish my run a little later. Right now I am going to prep our dinner-  grilled chicken and veggies- do my squats, and play a bit. I am so glad to feel better!