Sunday, June 30, 2013

Fat Girl Running problems 2

I am going to start with my excuse for not writing this post on Friday. We have had my 2 year old grandson since Friday morning. Isn't he adorable?

I think so! But boy does he keep me busy! He loves his Pop-Pop and Aunt Bubble and Uncle Josh but Boo-Boo is his favorite playmate, furniture and jungle gym! One of his favorite things to do is sit on my feet while I am sitting in a chair while I do leg lifts. Thanks for the "quads of steel" Connor! 
So on to Fat girl running problems!
I am going to back up a little and revisit shirts a bit.
Shirts are basically the bane of my existence. This was as true now as when I was 115 pounds because as I mentioned last time I am genetically blessed. 
This causes most shirts to be too short. As you might have guessed, I am not exactly a "belly shirt" model. In my experience, plus size shirts only get wider as the size goes up, not longer. So I end up buying mens t-shirts in colors as feminine as possible. Which makes me roughly the shape of a refrigerator box, only much shorter. 
FYI- If you make yourself a shirt like I did, don't use puffy paint. It sticks to the weight machines and peels off.
Onto other Fat girl running problems.
Lets talk chafing. I know that this is not exclusively a fat girl running problem(see previous post, I have been a skinny girl runner) but I have discovered new and exciting chafing spots as a fat girl runner. For instance, I had no idea the the top of my "vertical smile" chafes. Whoda thunk it? When this happens you have a very funky stride! 
Next we have the "gear" issue. Such as the smartphone holder designed to go on your bicep. I bought an xxl. It does not fit. I am fortunate that though my biceps are large, I do not have "wings"! I am working hard to ensure I never do!
I have never before considered that my weight would be an issue in finding properly fitting running shoes. I have 2pairs of running shoes neither are "perfect" but one pair is especially uncomfortable. I found this out by accident when I wore them to the Gym one night. I made it about 1/4 of a mile in the shoes, then stripped them and did another 3/4 mile in my stocking feet. It was the most comfortable run I'd had since I started running again.
So decided to check out the barefoot style with a spot for each little toe. Between my fat feet and my Rhuematoid arthritis my toes don't fit in the little spots of the size that fit the rest of  my foot. One more motivator! I want those shoes!!!
Those are all the fat girl running problems I can think of with a two year old climbing me like a tree. 
Anyone have anything they'd like to add?

Thursday, June 27, 2013

Fat girl running problems part 1

In the interest of full disclosure, I was not always a fat girl runner. Once upon a time(27 years ago) I was on my high school cross country team. While I was not at my thinnest, I was in good shape. 
Since I began running again I have become aware of problems that I didn't have as a thinner runner. I have compiled a few for your reading pleasure.
Clothes- I could probably do a very long post on problems with clothes. Let's start with shorts. In general, plus size runners can't wear cute little shorts. If you are lucky enough to find shorts that claim to be your size they probably aren't really your size or are your size but are cut just a little bit odd. Second, fat girls have thighs that rub together which means that with every step your shorts climb your thighs until you appear to be wearing a diaper. Not attractive. I have read about running skirts. I'd love to try one. If I could find one in my size. 
Then there are sports bras. This has always been an issue for me because I have been genetically blessed in. If there were sports bras 27 years ago I certainly didn't know about them. 
Now I'm trying to find them in a 42 G. Yeah thats fun.
Shirts are fun too. In fact shirts bother me so much I made my own. It says " Yes, I'm fat AND I'm running. Encourage me, run with me or get out of the way!"
More tomorrow.

Sunday, June 23, 2013

The Last Crusade

I was sitting here here watching a movie trying to figure out what I was going to write about tonight. I have not gone on my run yet so I don't have any entertaining stories about my ineptness as a runner/athlete. Today I visited my dad and it was exhausting.
The movie I am watching is Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade. Have you seen it? Indiana is on a final adventure with his father. My favorite of the series. I thought how much I would love to go on a final adventure with my dad.
Actually, I guess you could say we are on an adventure, but defintely not a fun or exciting one. 
You see, my dad has Alzheimer's. Alzheimer's is a mean and humiliating disease. Dad was diagnosed a few years ago but the disease has progressed rapidly since October. 
There are only glimpses left of the man who built a truck from the ground up with parts he scavenged from wherever. Or the man who walked for miles in a blizzard carrying bread,milk and eggs in burlap sacks to neighbors on his way home to us. Or the man who spent hours making a dollhouse for my sister and I and a barn for my brother for Christmas one year. Or the man who built a cradle for my babies.
And yet, in watching him, I am motivated. Alzheimer's can be exacerbated by factors such as alcohol use and obesity. In his day, Dad was an alcoholic. He didn't recognize it at the time but did in later years. He was also overweight for many years.
So I am motivated to take better care of myself and make changes that will reduce the chances of my having Alzheimer's. It is probably the hardest thing I have ever done but it is worth it if I can spare my children and grandchildren the pain that I am going through. 
Off for my run. I will try to be more entertaining tomorrow.

Saturday, June 22, 2013

Fat girls should never sit in bunjee cord chairs

I have had a couple of exceedingly busy and stressful couple of weeks both personally and professionally. I was desperate to "escape" for a day and as it is my husbands weekend off we were ready to go!
Our original plan was to get up early and go fishing. I picked up my fishing license last night. Gregg bought bait. We planned our picnic, froze water bottles, bought an umbrella for my chair- everything was ready. 
However when the alarm went off at 6 this morning Gregg said "Do you want to sleep a little later?" To which I replied YES!
We finally got moving around 8 it was already muggy. Humidity and I do not get along. My hair and humidity get along even worse. Seriously, so not pretty.
On to plan B! Our company had a Kentucky Derby hat contest and bake off. While I didn't win the hat contest I did win the bake off for our office. I was the only one who baked anything. Winning is winning! The prize was a gift card to Olive Garden. So plan B was a visit to the new Cabelas in Louisville, lunch at Olive Garden, a visit to Mall St. Matthews and finishing off at Bass Pro. 
Cabelas was ok. Not as impressive as expected but ok. Lunch was good. 
Mall St. Matthews. Here is where it gets fun.
 The main reason we went to this particular mall was because our youngest daughter wanted to go to Forever 21. Have you been there. While it may be my 17 year olds dream it is far from her 47 year old daddys. In fact it is his worst nightmare. But because she wanted to go, he went in and even helped her shop.  She, giggling and squealing with excitement. He, grunting and groaning and making faces like he had caught a whiff of sewage back up. Fun for me to watch!
After that delightful episode we continued through the mall looking at various stores and just enjoying each others company. Several times we walked past "Sharper Image". They have all kinds of nifty gadgets. What caught my eye was this nifty Bungee cord chair. It was a large circle with what looked like a spider web of Bungee cords. The first couple of times we passed the store a girl was sitting in the chair.  Finally the third time we passed she had gotten out of the chair!
My time to get a closer look at the chair had finally come! I made a beeline to the chair even as the salesman was adjusting the purple squishy head rest. I got close, touched it and firmly announced to my husband and daughter " I have got to sit in it!" My husband said " No kidding? I knew that was coming."  My daughter rolled her eyes in that charming way teenagers have when their parents are at their dorkiest.
I turned and plopped into the chair and basically hit the floor, bounced and dangled. My bum was basically on the floor, my body folded in half with only my head, my arms from elbows to hands and legs from knees to feet sticking out. I couldn't touch the floor with my feet nor could I reach anything to grab to pull myself out. I was like a turtle on his back. If hubby and daughter hadn't been there I think I might still be sitting there with a sign saying "Don't let this happen to you." I cackled like a mad woman,just couldn't stop, it was absolutely hysterical! My daughter and husband were trying to maintain their composure but failing miserably. The salesman who had adjusted the headrest? Walking away like he hadn't seen or heard a thing.
Honestly, I wish hubby had gotten it on video so I could share it with you!  Wonder if the store would share the security tapes...
So exercise today, walking round and round stores, attempting to pull myself out of the chair. 

Friday, June 21, 2013

getting past the fat girl running fear

I try really really hard to make fun of myself before others have a chance and act like I am ok with it. I make jokes about my fat rolls and fat thighs and runing like a pig in molasses mixed with quick sand. 
However, I continue to run when I know there will be fewer people to see me whether at the gym or around town. I wear shirts several sizes too big in a vain attempt to hide my 48 inch waist and 58 inch hips. That somehow my no one will notice all 258 pounds of fat bouncing with each step. Of course if I have learned anything from "What not to Wear" its that oversized clothes only make you look bigger. I guess you could call my oversized gear a security blanket. My safe place.
I have to work on this. If I continue to limit myself to running when people can't see me, I will will never achieve my goals. People attend races therefore I need to be able to run in front of people. 
Here's the thing, I don't think I am the only one who is uncomfortable. I can only imagine what people are thinking as my hufing puffing creaky red faced body goes by. Perhaps they are thinking about cheering me on but are afraid I will mistake their encouragement as patronizing. Maybe they are frantically trying to remember the CPR class they took in case I collapse in front of them. 
At any rate, I believe I have come upon a solution. I have a gigantic hot pink t-shirt that has become my running shirt. I have decided to modify it so that it might make everyone a little more comfortable. For me I will make it smaller and better fitting. For everyone else, on the front I will write "Yes, I am fat and I am running. Encourage me, run with me or get out of the way."
On the back . What say you?

Monday, June 17, 2013

Dear Juneathon and Fattymustrun marathon challenge

I am sorry. I have been a horrible participant this month. Well as far as blogging is concerned anyway.
My exercise over the last week has included several days spending at least 1.5 hours playing with a kid on a playground, 3 walks through town of about 3 miles each, and today10 hours at Handi-camp, in heat, sitting down only to eat and of course drivr there and back.
I will do better. I promise! But now, I am going to bed.

Thursday, June 13, 2013

I need more hours....

There just isn't enough time to do everything I want and NEED to do!
Run, for example. I actually love to run. I am as slow as an elephant in mud but I love it!
I have an awesome job! I work with kids with mental health issues and their families. Its not always an easy job. In fact, at times it is both challenging and heartbreaking. 
But one of the best things about it is that I get to play with kids everyday! It may not be running, but I am usually active everyday. Yesterday it was 2 1/2 hours playing in high heat and humidty. Completely wore me out. I was in bed by 7pm!
Today was just a bit of active play as we had storms popping up.
 One of the more annoying aspects of my job is trying to mesh my and my families schedule around my clients schedule. At times it is impossible! But usually to make it work I end up working crazy hours.
I had planned to work out at the gym but forgot to pack my workout wear this morning. I went from work, to physical therapy to my daughters doctors appt, to the gym to take daughters shift at the gym child care because her appointment ran late. If I had been wearing pants I would have gone ahead and at least done machines but I was in a skirt. Hard to do some of those and remain modest!
By the time I returned home it was 8:30ish, and I wouldnt have had time to change, drive back to the gym and gotten a work out in before they closed. Sometimes I wish my gym was 24 hours! I opted to catch up my squats as I was behind a couple of days and do some stretching. Plus upper body at physical therapy. My therapist had me work on machines that are in the gym so when official therapy ends I will be able to improve. There are some I am not allowed to do. One in particular she said I was never ever allowed to do ever again. Not sure if she was teasing or not! 
So thats my portion of the post. don't feel left out! 
My clean eating has been a bust for the last couple of days. Trying to squeeze every last drop out of productivity out of my days has resulted in me grabbing whatever is the quickest, easiest and cheapest. In the words of Scarlett O'Hara "Tomorrow is another day."

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

The Fat Girl wants it the most.

This morning I had physical therapy and was going to see a client straighr from there. This required me to take a different route than usual. This particular route is hilly and curvy and  beautiful. I was anticipating the lovely drive when I came upon a group of cyclists. I am certain that I would rather run this stretch of road than ride it. The hills would be wicked.
The first group were were aware that the were not the only vehicles on the road. The next group was waiting for the stragglers-in the middle of the freaking road ON A CURVE! I thought it was going to be very unpretty! I got around them and encountered several other groups along the way. Most of them looked like your typical cyclist, thin, chisled, decked out in all of the high tech gear that money can buy. There were a.few older people in the mix but they too were thin and  chisled.
Some of the groups were courteous about sharing the road with other vehicles. Other groups completely disregarded the safety of themselves and others by riding 4 abreast ,some were on the wrong side of the road or riding the yellow line. Considering the blind curves, and the tendency of people in this area to cut curves this was asking to be run over. All in all I'd say there were 100 or so.
I was getting very frustrated with all of these groups and was absolutely fuming as I went up the last big hill. And then I saw her. The fat girl waiting at the top of the hill for her friends. She didn't have the fancy jerseys that the rest of the group, I am guessing because makers of cyclist gear don't know fat girls ride, much like running apparel makers don't realize that fat girls run. But she was at the top of the waiting for the others. She wanted it more. She had more to prove. I wanted to stop and tell her that she is a rockstar!  She inspired and encouraged me me without saying a word.
I have been discouraged by the slow process of seeing improvement in my own athleticism. I want to run faster and better and I dont want to jiggle! & I want it now. This beautiful woman reminded me that this is, after all, not a sprint, its a marathon. I am not going to start running today and run 26 miles tomorrow. I am not going to run tonight and wake up with 120 pounds magically gone from my body. This woman in the polka dot shirt shirt probably could not have climbed that hill when she first started riding. But here she was, at the top of the hill, waiting for the skinny people.
She wanted it more.

Saturday, June 8, 2013

Juneathon day 6 &7 , clean eating 6 & 7, Fatty must run marathon challenge

Most days I don't really feel my age. Probably because I don't act it most of the time! ;-) However, when we have my grandson for the weekend I defintely feel every minute of my age! Though not as much as I used too!
Last night for instance. Connor fell asleep on my chest. I am still restricted in how much I can lift and I can tell you that little man is way more than 10 pounds! Three months ago if Connor had fallen asleep on me, we both would have slept on the couch until a) someone came to help me b) he woke up. In the meantime I would pray that his diaper and my bladder made it through the night.
Last night was different. I was able to get off the very low couch without using my bad shoulder and without waking Connor. Thank you Fatty Must Run Marathon challenge/30 day squat challenge!
Another change I am excited about- When I drop something on the floor I no longer have to do the "fat girl lunge"! Who knows what I am talking about here? I am positive some of you have either done it or seen someone do it! Let me describe it for you and I am sure you will recall it. Step 1. Fat girl drops something on floor. Step 2. fat girl places one leg in front of her in classic lunge form, preferably holding onto something, and ever so slowly squats toward the object while grunting, groaning, huffing and puffing. Step 3. Retrieve object, but rest while you are down there,cause that was hard work. Step 4. Slowly slide feet together while clinging for dear life to anything that may help pull yourself to an upright position. Step 5. Look around to see how many witnesses to your gracefulness. Now you recognize this right? I am happy to report that you be seeing me doing this ever again! I can pick up anything you can throw on the floor like a normal person! Woohoo!

So Juneathon. I have not had a run since Thursday. I have been chasing my 2 year old grandson since Friday afternoon. Friday we went to the playground and believe me this granny was running! Today, we went for a 3.5 mile walk. It is beginning to be our regular routine when he spends the night. Get up, eat breakfast, Connor clamours to get in his stroller, walk to the farmers market, throw pennies in the fountain, walk down to the playground by the river, walk down the boat ramp to feed the ducks. Pretty fabulous morning if you ask me!
 Fatty must run marathon challenge June clean eating challenge - not horrible yesterday, not the best, but not the best. We went to the chinese buffet where I mostly eat sushi, crab rangoons and pot stickers. Last night was no exception! Today was good until supper when I was too worn out to cook and we had pizza for supper.

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Juneathon/clean eating day 4 and 5 and a "reblog"

First things Day 4- Exercise- half of my squats, forgot the second half. oops. Did some stretching and strength that is physical therapist approved. 
Day 5- "power walked" 3.16 miles in 1:09:19 I was proud of that! squats from yesterday, todays squats. yay. Someone might need to carry me up the stairs at the office tomorrow.
Days 4 and 5 of clean eating- I felt I did well despite an upset stomach. lots of whole grain toast. beans and rice for lunch. turkey burgers and baked fries for lunch.
Now for the reblog and the story to go with it. Today I was accused of being privileged because I made a joke about running through the grocery store shouting "unclean,unclean" on twitter.  As anyone who knows me in person can tell you, I am far from privileged. And one of my biggest pet peeves is for someone to judge me without knowing me or make blanket assumptions. I had a religion professor in college who was very good at blanket assumptions. Especially concerning "you young college students who haven't lived in the real world."  His favorite expression was "You have to throw out all your preconceived notions."  One day he made a scathing remark, followed by his expression and I had enough and told him so. He started to argue with me and I told him in no uncertain terms that I was a 35 year old woman with a husband, 5 kids, a job and a 2 hour round trip each day. I was not a late teen/early 20's kid there because my parents said so. I was there to learn. If I was required to drop my preconceived notions about college professors, he had to drop his about students. He was speechless for a moment, then agreed that I was right.His attitude towards students changed as he listened to them. He became one of my favorite professors and biggest supporters. 
This reblog is in response to the accusation of my "priviledged lifetyle". My message is that you shouldn't judge someone quickly on the basis of a single statement. Yes there are people in the world who are completely depraved. But don't assume I am one of them. Learn before you judge. and honestly, its not your place to judge.
Two and a Half Pages of Excuses
If money were no object I would live in house that fit my family with closets and a kitchen big enough for a table. The floors would be even. No longer would the arrangement of the furniture depend on whether it would be too lopsided to be comfortable. We wouldn't worry about whether or not that chair is too heavy for that weak spot in the floor. The floors would be finished and polished with the proper cleansers and wax. There would be no particle board trap door to the cellar.
In the bedrooms we could use all 4 walls without worrying that the plaster will give way. The clothes would hang neatly in closets and belongings stored neatly on those shelves. The bats wouldn’t find holes to come in at night and bite the youngest daughter’s toes. If money were no object, there would be more children in my house. Children whose medical conditions are too much for their parents. Children whose parents never should have been parents. Children who just want to be loved and safe.
The ceiling would not have those water spots, I mean lines. We wouldn’t wake up after a rainstorm to find that the covering on the old chimney has come loose, leaking into the kitchen, depositing half of the wall onto the counter.
If money were no object, I would fix my children breakfast every morning before I drove them to school. Their lunches would be fresh and healthy. There would be fresh baked goods and fruit for after school snacks. The pantry would have rows and rows of jars of fruits and vegetables picked straight from our garden and orchards and canned at the peak of freshness. My husband would spend hours planning and tending all the fruits and vegetables he has ever wanted. I would eat those fruits and vegetables knowing that if my tooth crumbled in an apple I could go to the dentist to have it repaired.
Each morning I would gather eggs from our chickens and feed them and the cows and goats. I would take meat from the freezer for that evenings’ supper. I would not pick up dollar cheeseburgers on the way home from work because they are fast and cheap. I would not look for more and more ways to make a pound of hamburger and a box of macaroni feed 7 people.
If money were no object I would have a writing room all my own. My books would come out of boxes and fill two walls of shelves. Eventually I would need more shelves. There would be a comfortable chairs and a couch for long meaningful conversations and quiet hours of reading.
If money were no object, I would have an indoor pool to do the aquatic exercise my rheumatologist insists I must do to ease the pain in my joints and to lose the weight he insists I must also do.
If money were no object, my family and I would learn about different countries and cultures by experiencing them first hand. They would see the wonders of the world and the children who must beg to survive.
I wrote the previous pages after I saw a segment of the show “CMT Cribs”. I cannot remember which celebrities’ home was being shown, I think it was a race car driver. What stands out in my mind is the man’s wife as she listed the features of her beautiful state of the art kitchen. She then proudly announced “I don’t know what half of it does, I never cook.”
I was so angered by the statement that I wrote the piece and included it in my Senior Capstone Writing course proposal of short “life” pieces.
My professor said "This piece is spare and sincere and conveys the problems of living in poverty without self pity. I don't know if I could write this objectively. I don't recommend changing this one. I think it is perfect as it is and its compact form speaks loudly as is."
I was thrilled. My pride was all puffed up at my perfection. And then the rest of the semester rushed by and with it a million other projects and graduation. The piece was tucked away in a file and forgotten as I threw myself into preparing to teach a class of 5th and 6th graders.
One day when I probably should have been doing something productive I was scrolling through my computer reading things I had written over the years. Some made me laugh, some made me cry. This one made me think.
As I read I recognized that what I had written was two and a half pages of excuses. If I want to serve needy children there are far too many right here in the town I live in.
When this realization hit me I immediately thought of all the parables in which Jesus talks about being a good and faithful servant. Not once does He say “Serve me if you have money.” The message in so many passages, Matthew 20:1-16, Matthew 25:14-30, Luke 16:10-15, to name a few is clearly to do what you can with what you have.
What I struggle with most, I think, is doing what I am told. I want to do what I want, when I want. Just like a spoiled child, I stomp and cry and sometimes yell trying to convince God my way is best. How foolish is that? Just as I make decisions based on what is best for my children, God has my life planned perfectly.
My job is to do as I am told. Luke 17:7-10 says “Suppose one of you had a servant plowing or looking after the sheep. Would he say to the servant when he comes in from the field, “Come along now and sit down to eat’? Would he not rather say, “Prepare my supper, get yourself ready and wait on me while I eat and drink; after that you may eat and drink”? Would he thank the servant because he did what he was told to do? So you also, when you have done everything you were told to do, should say, “We are unworthy servants; we have only done our duty.”
May it ever be so. 

Monday, June 3, 2013

clean eating, Juneathon day 2 and 3

Day 2-Clean eating- well, I was running late in getting ready for church so I didnt eat breakfast.drank herbal tea with honey. About halfway through the service I started feeling really awful. Spent the rest of the morning in the foyer watching the monitor or in the bathroom. Drank tea and water all day. Ate whole grain toast.
Exercise-squats thats it.
Day 3- clean eating- Toast, cheese, for breakfast and lunch. Dinner-baked fish and squash which actually tasted really good and didn't upset my stomach!  Yehaw! But epic fail on my drink. I gave into the puny temptation to drink diet coke. Yes, I am weak when I feel bad.
Exercise-squats Exercise-squats and a short walk .
I made up some Lemon water so all I have to do is grab it in the morning.
Daughter and I are heading to the gym in the morning!
Check out - & these sites are my motivators!

Saturday, June 1, 2013

Juneathon-day 1/ FMRMC eating clean, day 1

Short blog tonight. The day started out well but kinda crashed and burned.
We had been invited to a party at a friends house. Mishap with planned dessert, basically, it and the glass pan it was in exploded. With me in front of it. Somehow I escaped injury but was pretty shaken up. And no dish to take with us. Enter chips. I hadnt been grocery shopping yet so I didnt really have anything I needed to make a veggie or fruit tray. Or time to make one. So we picked up chips on the way.
Exercise- not much. Squats and some stretches.
Tomorrow will be a better day!