Saturday, June 22, 2013

Fat girls should never sit in bunjee cord chairs

I have had a couple of exceedingly busy and stressful couple of weeks both personally and professionally. I was desperate to "escape" for a day and as it is my husbands weekend off we were ready to go!
Our original plan was to get up early and go fishing. I picked up my fishing license last night. Gregg bought bait. We planned our picnic, froze water bottles, bought an umbrella for my chair- everything was ready. 
However when the alarm went off at 6 this morning Gregg said "Do you want to sleep a little later?" To which I replied YES!
We finally got moving around 8 it was already muggy. Humidity and I do not get along. My hair and humidity get along even worse. Seriously, so not pretty.
On to plan B! Our company had a Kentucky Derby hat contest and bake off. While I didn't win the hat contest I did win the bake off for our office. I was the only one who baked anything. Winning is winning! The prize was a gift card to Olive Garden. So plan B was a visit to the new Cabelas in Louisville, lunch at Olive Garden, a visit to Mall St. Matthews and finishing off at Bass Pro. 
Cabelas was ok. Not as impressive as expected but ok. Lunch was good. 
Mall St. Matthews. Here is where it gets fun.
 The main reason we went to this particular mall was because our youngest daughter wanted to go to Forever 21. Have you been there. While it may be my 17 year olds dream it is far from her 47 year old daddys. In fact it is his worst nightmare. But because she wanted to go, he went in and even helped her shop.  She, giggling and squealing with excitement. He, grunting and groaning and making faces like he had caught a whiff of sewage back up. Fun for me to watch!
After that delightful episode we continued through the mall looking at various stores and just enjoying each others company. Several times we walked past "Sharper Image". They have all kinds of nifty gadgets. What caught my eye was this nifty Bungee cord chair. It was a large circle with what looked like a spider web of Bungee cords. The first couple of times we passed the store a girl was sitting in the chair.  Finally the third time we passed she had gotten out of the chair!
My time to get a closer look at the chair had finally come! I made a beeline to the chair even as the salesman was adjusting the purple squishy head rest. I got close, touched it and firmly announced to my husband and daughter " I have got to sit in it!" My husband said " No kidding? I knew that was coming."  My daughter rolled her eyes in that charming way teenagers have when their parents are at their dorkiest.
I turned and plopped into the chair and basically hit the floor, bounced and dangled. My bum was basically on the floor, my body folded in half with only my head, my arms from elbows to hands and legs from knees to feet sticking out. I couldn't touch the floor with my feet nor could I reach anything to grab to pull myself out. I was like a turtle on his back. If hubby and daughter hadn't been there I think I might still be sitting there with a sign saying "Don't let this happen to you." I cackled like a mad woman,just couldn't stop, it was absolutely hysterical! My daughter and husband were trying to maintain their composure but failing miserably. The salesman who had adjusted the headrest? Walking away like he hadn't seen or heard a thing.
Honestly, I wish hubby had gotten it on video so I could share it with you!  Wonder if the store would share the security tapes...
So exercise today, walking round and round stores, attempting to pull myself out of the chair. 


  1. If that did end up on the security tape, I bet it ends up on YouTube. ;-) And goes viral! LOL You do the craziest things!

  2. I can't help it Brenda! It's like I have a "crazy things happen here" cloud that follows me around and randomly dumps crazy situations on me!